I often get asked, "How do you stay consistent?", "Where does your drive come from?" & "Do you think your looks helped you become successful?". Though I dont have a clear cut answer, I think its important to share where I came from so my viewers can be more invested in my future journey, because its only up from here!
Im from South Jersey, where the bread is softer than any person born there, and no its not 'Joisey'. I was born into a poor, abusive and addicted household. My Grandma sadistically abused my mom, uncles and aunts their entire life, so naturally everyone gravitated towards those relationships in their future and some carried it into their parenting skills. My dad is from a third world country and married my mom for citizenship; I was an exceptional accident. Im the youngest of 3 and we all had different fathers, but my dad was the most "competent" and raised us all in different ways. Not being able to take the daily sexual, physical or emotional abuse, my older sister and brother quickly escaped anyway they could. I grew up mostly alone with my Polly Pockets and my thoughts. I read ALOT to go to a different world & I loved my animals so much that my dream was to become a vet.
Dont get it twisted, my Dad loved me because I was his only kid, but his actions towards others didn't reveal love. I saw anger, hate and manipulation and sadly, I took on those characteristics as an adult. I was quick to snap on anyone and in the most harsh, nasty way you could imagine. Verbal assassination is still easy for me.
Since my siblings were in a downward spiral of drugs & prison, my parents sent me to a Christian High School thinking it would save me. After getting half my class in trouble for smoking weed at prom, we all were banned from walking on Graduation Day. My mom thought I was a drug addict, so I went to live with my dad in the upstairs of a house with just a bathroom and a plug in stovetop burner(it worked wonders).
I was the first in my family to go to college. I got FAFSA and was studying marine biology so one day I could move to FL and study zoology. At the time, me and Dad had downgraded to staying in a guys basement with an expiration date. My Dads anger got him into some trouble and he was picked up by police that week. I thought he would get out the county two days later, but ICE (immigration) had other plans. My fathers actions from 20 years prior put him in jail for the next 4 years before he was deported back to his country. THIS WAS THE LOWEST POINT IN MY LIFE. I became solely responsible for my wellbeing more than ever before as I became homeless, dropped out of college and started working in the strip clubs. I was financially taking care of my dad in prison and my boyfriend at the time, while pleading with my free lawyer and a judge who didn't care to please not take my only blood away from me. I compromised my character, body and mind a lot during my 20s and I punished myself for it for years.
2017-At this point I'm what I call financially stable. I have 3 jobs and I've been saving from working sales in the day and bartending every night. Summer comes and I lose all 3 jobs within a few months due to the ever deteriorating economy of Atlantic City. I panicked and went to Miami, but hurricane life hit too close to home. So I found the next 24 hr city-VEGAS. After I made everyone cry with my announcement to leave and never come back, I was almost ready to start my new life. A month before I move, I get the call that my brother is dead from an overdose. I use this tragedy as an opportunity to forgive my mother and try and help with funeral accommodations. But I knew staying there and being stuck was not going to break the pattern.
Fast forward to today, 5/29/22. WOW! My life is so different. I can't express how surreal it feels to be writing at this very moment. I am truly grateful. I have no relationship with my dad, my sister hates me and I can't be close to my niece and nephews the way I would like. But that's only what's happening now, and Ive gotten to the point where I know people need to heal themselves before they can create good foundations with others. I hold no more guilt, liability or burden on my heart.
When you grow up this way, financial literacy, compassion, and mental health are not common knowledge. Ive worked extremely hard over the past few years to change the narrative and I owe it all to starting the podcast as it opened my mind to new people and perspectives. MY DRIVE COMES FROM MY LIFE. Something you can't teach. Some of the prettiest faces have the ugliest stories. I am breaking generational trauma and poverty patterns. I am not a statistic. Make sure you forgive those that hurt you, but most importantly forgive yourself so you can truly be free. Peace and Love, Angie.